I was organizing my desk and an old envelope fell out of some papers I had put aside.  On it, I found this quote - written hastily,  most likely at an airport waiting for a plane to places unknown.  It was of particular interest to me today - a beautiful summer day filled with sun and beach - and I am trying to decide how I will approach the day. I know I need to focus on my work but my restless-self want to run out to the ocean. Or look for the incredible butteries on the flowers outside and clouds floating in the bright blue sky.


                                       I found my answer in these words written on that paper scrap: 
                                                    "Celebrate what you want to do more of."  Tom Peters.  


So I decided to spend the day celebrating that I am able to write today,  and to get the word out about my business of helping women transition back in to the workplace, and that I am happy about the wonderful women whom I have connected with over this past year.  Maybe I will even be content to stay in my office!  I found that focusing on the important things helps to center me and stay focused on what I need to do. I want to do more of these things - it makes me feel good, that I have accomplished something and that it brings joy to others as well.  I want more of that!

If you find yourself restless, distracted, longing to do something (or anything other than what you are doing),  and you really want to celebrate more of what you want, I have found that this helps:

1.  Have a very focused list of what you must get done right now and today.  Set time limits, get it done and check it off.  That is a really good feeling to cross it off the list.

2.  Have a 'TO BE" list. How do you want to feel right now? For the rest of the day?  Then choose and decide that is how you want to live your life today. Celebrate how you want to be today.  This is even more important than your To Do list. 

3.  Celebrate what you are doing - choose those things  and people that make you happy. Do a great job on that report you need to finish. write that blog. Help someone out who is struggling. Turn on some music that makes you feel good, dance a little (or a lot), have some food that tastes do delicious  (sweet summer cherries or cold ice cream),  stick your toes in the water.  Give someone a hug.  Be grateful. Whatever it is that you want more of!


What do You want more of? How are you celebrating today?


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                                       Re-Examine        Re-Launch         Re-Enter

Are you a woman in transition who finds herself wanting, or needing, to return to the workplace after taking a break?   You may be in a life-transition - divorce, suddenly single, empty-nester, retiring, or even have lost your job.  You need support - now. 

Finding a job in 2015 is not the same as it used to be five or ten years ago.  Everything is changing and you need to have the latest information, strategies and action plan at your fingertips so you can re-launch yourself and re-enter the workplace.  I can help you do that! 

Come join me for a complimentary personal 'exploration session' where we can review options and ideas to help you in your transition.   


Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html   Everyone needs a little help sometimes. It is your turn now. Connect with me at : [email protected]

I've been parallel parking all of my driving-life but this morning I was meeting a coaching client and had to find a spot on a busy street. There were two places and both looked plenty big enough to fit in.  I tried the first one – I lined up and then hit the curb. I tried it again – after four attempts I gave up and moved up the block to the other larger spot. Piece of cake!  I lined up again, swung in, hit the curb again and again, and again.. Did the curb get bigger? Was there something in the road?   I am thinking I am normally good at this but not today.  I noticed that there was an older man on a bicycle waiting for me to pull in, sitting on his bike somewhat amused.  I just looked at him and started laughing at myself. Then he started laughing – with a big, wide toothy grin and smiling eyes - the kind of moment when you just stop and share the how funny life can be.

I must have put on some show because my husband  happened to be driving down the street in the opposite direction, was stopped at a red light, and saw what was happening.  He later told me that traffic was backed up behind me, people were laughing and he started laughing too. You never know how our little moments and challenges can make someone else happy, even if just for a minute.

What could have been an exercise in frustration or embarrassment, instead turned into such a  happy and perfect moment.

So I asked myself why I so easily slipped into joy, instead of impatience or frustration? Lately
I have been making more of a conscious effort to do these three things:

1. Take in things as they come – be accepting, not angry or impatient

2. Be aware of what IS going on and find the goodness in it

3. Stop being so hard on myself (and others).

I think this was a moment when conscious awareness turned into unconscious response. I know that if we practice being more joyful, and less uptight and intense, good feelings just start to happen naturally.  Our bond with each others in is our words and behaviors. They are totally contagious so let’s make them be the very best one we have. Laugh each day - a very good way to "pass it forward".

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 Is it time for a new career or job? Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? You may be in a life-transition - divorce, empty-nester, retiring, or even lost your job. Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?


Now is the best time to write and live the story of the life YOU want. Let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in personal career coaching, programs and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a complimentary personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html   Everyone needs a little help sometimes. It is your turn now. 

March is Women's History Month. Here at The International Center for Women we are dedicated to serving women all over the world, and I will be highlighting women and their incredible capacity and resilience this month. I know their stories will inspire you to re-discover your best self and make your own history. 

This week I will start with honoring Janet Echelman, artist and sculptor, who changed the ordinary into the extraordinary but considered herself an "unlikely person" to create what she did. But she went ahead anyway. And created such amazing, moving art that delights and amazes people on almost every continent because she did not let the ‘un-likely’ part get in the way of what she was gifted to do.  Because of the she was able to share her Best Self with the world. 

How many of us consider ourselves to be un-likely, un-available, un-trained, un-talented? We need to delete the 'un' part of these words  which we tell ourselves and others. Many times they are excuses for being scared or unwilling to do something new. We tell ourselves that it is ok to stay in our comfort zone. But many times it is not. And over time it becomes not only boring but terribly sad to see all of our potential ‘un-used’. 

 You may have read some of my blogs before where I talk about the potential and capacity within us.  I am SO amazed at how much raw ability, talent, willingness and energy we have inside of us, especially as women. March is a perfect time to acknowledge our capacity and use the desires and talents we have within. Promise yourself and make a plan that you will commit to re-discovering (or discovering for the first time) all that you have within you. 

 In her first TED talk*, Janet says "I didn't know where to begin but I said Yes!"  Give your self permission to say "Yes!" to doing something you really want to do - to that little voice within that encourages you to learn more, to take a risk, to choose a decision to be happier. 

This is the perfect time to say "Yes!' and to take action in creating the amazing history of your own life.

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It is your turn to write the story of the life you want. Is it time for a new career or job? Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? You may be in a life-transition - divorce, empty-nester, retiring, or even lost your job. Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in personal career coaching, programs and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a complimentary personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html   Everyone needs a little help sometimes. 

*You can watch Janet Echleman's amazing talk at http://www.ted.com/talks/janet_echelman?language=en

There was a small article on one of the news feeds which had some tips about traveling light. It talked about leaving those extra ten hair products, and those seven pairs of shoes you will never wear, at home. After all, you are on vacation -  travel light!

It got me to thinking about all of the extra baggage many people carry around every day.  We stuff our emotional luggage with that hurtful thing one of our girlfriends did to us 5 years ago.  Or that failed relationship or marriage and how unfair it was and how terrible that person was to you. We fill up the bags with resentment for someone who got a promotion that you thought should be yours. The workplace becomes something to dread. Add some envy for that beautiful new house your best friend just bought. 

We can’t live fully in the present or even move forward with the tons of ‘stuff’ we choose to carry around.  We can keep piling it up inside of us and at some point, it becomes toxic and we start to be bitter, jealous, and really unhappy.

But we do have another choice. We can instead use these life lessons, no matter how small, to learn how to move on and create a better you and a better life.  I always wonder what the point is of re-hashing over and over all of the bad stuff.  No one really wants to hear your sad story all of the time - in fact, I don’t think that even you want to hear your own tale of woe again and again, but you are not sure how to stop yourself. And so that baggage keeps getting heavier to the point that sometimes you get paralyzed in your own sadness and memories.  And a few events can turn you into a bitter and unhappy person.  That is not the way you are supposed to live your life. Especially at work, where you spend the majority of your life, ask yourself do you want to be so miserable 8 to 10 hours a day? Is that really living?  You are meant for so much more happiness. Every day.

What can you do to move forward and feel more free and joyful without all of that heavy baggage you are carrying around?

1. Ask yourself - “How do I want to live my life today? 

            Instead of making a To Do list, replace it with your ‘To Be’ list.  My friend and author, Starla J. King, talks about how having and following a To Be list is so much more rewarding that just checking off those chores every day.  Write down how you want to feel and behave today – angry, tired, or sad?  Or grateful, curious and giving?

            When you look at it this way, the answer is a no-brainer - right?

2. Be bold and let it go.  

            We get stuck in our routines, those known things that somehow give us comfort because we do them a lot and know what to expect.  Do one thing  differently today. You have heard me encourage you before to Be Bold. And I have gotten so many comments on how just changing one little thing – like stopping your self from complaining about the boss or the coffee, or being  more patient with a co-worker or child that annoys you – can give you a new feeling of  freedom and lightness.  Let go of those habits that no longer serve you. Add some new ones that will recharge your energy. You will love the feeling.

3. Unpack your bags

Take a little inventory of how much useless, emotional stuff you really have with you everyday, and night too.  Have a little notebook or use your mobile device to jot down the things that come up each day: what annoys you, sets you off, makes you sad, or angry or keeps you frozen from doing what you want?

            Is it that other people have so much more than you and you feel frustrated or left out?

            Are others asking too much and you can’t say no and it makes you angry?

            Do you do things you don’t want to and then resent it?

You get the picture.  As you write this down, everyday you will start to see a pattern. These loaded,  emotional words that drain you will pop out.  And these are the ones you want to unpack.

First be aware of how you are feeling and then choose to react differently – in a more loving and nourishing manner to both yourself and others. Pretty soon your bags will be so much lighter and just filled with the ‘essentials’ you need to move through your life more happily! Your new  journey awaits you - starting today!
                         **********************************************************************

Is it your time for a new career or job? Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? You may be in a life-transition - divorce, empty-nester, retiring, or even lost your job. Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in personal career coaching, programs and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a complimentary personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html   Everyone needs a little help sometimes. 

So many people made lofty resolutions for a career or job change this year. By February, most have already abandoned those new year promises, mostly because the goals were vague, you don't know where to start - it all feels like just too much effort and it is so much easier to stay where you are.

 Here is my question for you - if you project yourself out to the end of this year, how you will feel if you don't take any steps to make a change or get more enjoyment out of your current job? Will you be disappointed? Frustrated? Upset with you lack of progress? If so, now is the time to get clear and get into action to make that change you want and need.

 Step 1:

Analyze what you like and dislike about your current job or career.  Make a list of pros and cons - I know it sounds elementary but it is critical for you to have an inventory of what you love and what frustrates you. 

 Review that list for anything that jumps out and really tugs at your heart. Put a big circle around it and move it to the top of your list. Those words are real clues for you to follow on your search for more fulfillment in your work.

 Step 2:

Take the information you outlined and analyze what you need to do to correct it.

For example, if your boss is driving you crazy, you just can't do anything right, be honest about how, or if, the situation can change for the better. Can you have a talk with them and ask them what needs to be done to improve? If not, how can you change YOUR reaction to the boss? You can only change what you feel, not their behavior. Sometimes this little step will not only give you more satisfaction, but it will also be noticeable to others. And your work environment may just have gotten better.

If a discussion doesn't work, be honest and see if it is time for a job or career change. Get help and support in thinking this through and planning out this change. Treat it like a project - set goals, timelines and what support you need to move forward. Give yourself permission to get outside expertise from a coach or career consultant.  You can't do it all alone!

 Step 3:

 Take full responsibility for where you are and where you want to be. Now is the time to stop blaming others, like the boss, the company culture, your co-workers, etc., for making you unhappy. You are 100% responsible for how you feel. A tough lesson but once you accept it, you will feel so free. Let go of your feelings and behaviors that no longer serve you. Put the past in the past. Keep an eye on right now and on your future. It starts right now- with you. 

 Be honest about what part you play in your unhappiness with your work - I'm not saying it is not real or not valid. I am saying that only you can make it change.  Believe in yourself, in your abilities and know that there is a support system out there to help you. You CAN!

Take one little step towards making this year truly fulfilling for your work and career. Wishing, hoping, whining and complaining will not get you happiness. Only planning, action and knowing you CAN do it will bring you more joy. (Thoughtful prayers help too!).  Each action pushes you forward a little more and soon you will have a plan for liking your work more, or for moving on.

 In my next blog and newsletter I will give you more ideas on how to enjoy the work where you are now, and how to get the support you need to really be happier in your work. 


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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you in a life-transition - divorce, empty-nester, retiring, lost your job? Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a complimentary personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

Each new day gives us a fresh start to do something different on our path to being our Best Self. I am reminded that so much of our day is spent in Trance. You know - we drive from one place to the next and have no idea how we got there.  We put something away and a few hours later we don’t remember where it is. 

It gets a little scary sometimes – is my mind starting to go? Is this what it is like to get older? I read once that being forgetful as we age is really due to the fact that we have so much more stuff stored in our brains it just takes longer for us to find it. I really like that explanation.

 More importantly than forgetting things, I am really talking about how we drift through our day without conscious thought. How much of this do you do?

         - interact with a someone is a store without making eye contact?         

         - have a phone call while checking your email?

         - checking your text messages when having lunch with someone?

         - making decisions with thinking through the consequences?

Sometimes we barely register what the other person is saying on a phone call – our voice tones really reflect our lack of engagement. We unconsciously treat wait-staff like they barely exist. We give them an order, don’t look up, and then when we need something, can’t even remember what they look like!

We make fast decisions because we are just too overwhelmed to spend the time to think through them.  A wise mentor of mine once told me to always think through the outcome of the outcome.  If I make this decision, whom and what else will be affected? It is a really powerful question to ask yourself. It always produces better answers and decisions. This is an immediate way to get out of auto-pilot.

When we drift through our lives, not only do we miss out on truly being connected, but others miss out as well.  How does your indifferent voice tones or lack of human connection affect the other human being you are involved with, even if that connection is only for a few minutes? Are you telling them they don’t have much value to you, or that you are more important than they are? Is that your intent? If not, stay awake.

         Our voice and body language have tremendous effects – and it only takes the same amount of     
         energy to really engage as it does to be indifferent. Watch and listen for how people react to      
         you. Your message gets reflected back. Be aware of the feedback so that you can be alive     
         every single day.

Live this week in full awareness, not in a trance. You can give the gift of yourself every time you come in contact with others. Be fully aware of your output, your behavior, your energy. Make sure what you are giving others is the best that you can do and the best that you can be. This is also the ultimate gift to yourself.

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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you in a life-transition - divorce, empty-nester, retiring, lost your job? Is it time to start a new chapter?  If not now, what are you waiting for?

Now is the best time so let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 

Come join me for a complimentary personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

Have you ever had someone ask you a question that made you stop in your tracks and think – “wow! I never thought of that! “  A dear friend posed one of those questions to me: “What do you do on the days when you can’t find the joy?”    All of us have had those kind of times when you have just had it, when you want to run away, when you say  “Why me, God, and No More!”  Many of us have more than our fair share of hard times, of loss, of unexpected challenges and disappointments.  It can become totally overwhelming, shutting us down and even paralyzing us from being productive or happy.  You know - the kind of events that make some of us just want to stay under the covers and hide.  At other times, it becomes self-destructive or fills us with anger and terror. Not a pretty state to be in. And when we go there, it is so hard to dig back out again. 

I really had to think about her question long and hard.  All of the really basic, and sometimes trite, responses come out: “One day at a time.  Live in the moment. This too shall pass.”  While all true and important, they somehow feel too removed, or over-said, to do any good when you really need a springboard to that joy you so desperately need.  So what do you do?

“Joy is that pilot-light we have constantly burning deeply within, quick to grow into an intense heat when fueled by meaningful experiences.”  Starla J. King, author of “Wide Awake. Every Day. ”

Here are my best, simple ideas you can use every day - to help you be uplifted and in action and to see the sunshine again. They are little “experiences” that become truly “meaningful” and will bring more joy each day: 

1. Take action – even if it is to move your body.  Lift you head and look up, get off the chair, go for a walk, take a class, listen to music that moves you. Sit outside and write your little heart out.  Start that journal. Meditate. Sing or dance. Do or see something new. 

2. Set a time limit. I find this is a really effective way to get yourself out of your funk and find some joy. Set your alarm for 30 minutes, or 10 minutes or better yet, for 5 minutes. Let go of the drama.  And when the buzzer goes off, get up and physically move yourself. Physical movement creates different chemicals and feelings in your body. Be AWARE of your feelings and how you are moving from not so good to ok to maybe even great. It is pretty amazing once you focus in on it and feel the changes taking place inside of you.

2. Find support. You CANNOT do this alone.  By yourself you get stuck in the space between your ears – just you and your negative thoughts and feelings that tend to feed upon each other. 

Reach out for a support team – a trusted friend, a life coach, a counselor, someone from the clergy – whomever you feel comfortable with, someone you trust who help you to laugh a little and move on. 

3. Do one or ten things that make you smile.

4. Do one or ten things that make someone else smile.

4. Reach out and find someone who needs help and then help them.

5. Treat yourself to a little joy - a piece of chocolate, looking at photos that make you smile, calling an friend, watching a favorite movie, listening to wind chimes or a sea shell, smelling flowers. Use all of your senses. 

6. Repeat items 1 – 5 as needed. Be committed and dedicated to being in joy very day. 

By taking these simple actions, you start to get rid of your feelings and behaviors that no longer serve you and you then will build a new habit which nourishes you and others.

We all have, and will have, incredible challenges and not-so-fun times. There is always beauty in a storm. It is up to us to lift up our eyes to find it. And yes, it is not so hard when you know what to do. Joy is closer than you think – it really is inside of you. 


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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you not working in your best space and want to feel more alive and fulfilled in your work? Is it time to renew your spirit?  If not now, what are you waiting for?


Now is the best time and let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 


Come join me for a complimentary personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

“Wide Awake. Every Day”  Starla J. King. 2013  Little Big Bay Company LLC. Available on Amazon.

Most days we must be somewhere, be doing something, or try to be someone we may not want to be.  How many times do we just find a rock, perch ourselves and allow our lives to take a time-out with nowhere to go and nothing to do?  

On my morning walk this plump seagull was just standing around watching the water ebb and flow. I thought how enriched our lives will be if we would just take even 10 or 15 minutes a day to drink in the world around us.  It doesn’t need to be at the beach.  To look up at the sky, or find a quiet spot like a church or museum.  To sit on a bench in the park. To listen to the sound of laughter and children playing.  You can feel what will bring you peace if you just surrender to life around you.

So how will you make this happen?  Make a small promise to yourself and say “I MUST”, or better yet, put it right in the present with “I AM.”  For example, “I am getting up from my desk and looking at the sky.  I am taking a quick walk to breathe in the air outside and clear my head.”  You know what to do.  Make a little list of two or three things if you need. The important part is to do it.

Find your own rock where you can perch and just ‘be.’  I promise you will smile more today as you find little joys all around you. Your thoughts will be clearer, you will be inspired or even inspire and bring joy to others.  Now that is a good day.

            “If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.” Anita Roddick  (Founder of The Body Shop)

You know how it is - sometimes you just connect with another human being. You feel their energy – it inspires you, makes you smile and be joyful, and gives you such a positive jolt.  The opposite is also true – how a rude or indifferent remark can sting you.  These impacts can happen in a millisecond.

Which leads me to a question – what message, what energy are you putting out there to others? Do you realize that you affect others in unknown and unconscious ways?  Just a tiny interaction - a smile, or a frown, a word of encouragement or scorn, has untold affects on others.  Many times you never even realize what impact you have as you deposit your energy (positive or negative) on others.  Your smallest behavior can be like that unseen mosquito which leaves a mark long after it leaves.

We are all so caught up in our own feelings and issues. I sense that we are moving towards such an inner focus that we miss so much around us.  Our culture emphasizes ‘me’, and has a continuous stream of contests and competitions as to who is best and who is worthless. It becomes a lot about how does this affect me; how can I win at this; how can I outshine everyone else, without taking in to account how our actions and words affect those around us, people who could truly be helped by even the simplest thing that we say or do.

I am sure you have heard the quote “At the end of the day, I would rather be kind than right.” At our deepest level, it is kindness, and honesty and helping others that really makes a difference in all of our lives. So if you want to impact others in a positive way, It starts with awareness – get out of the space inside your head, stop playing your old records all the time, feel what energy you have and are giving off. 

We complain about how no one listens to us, ignores us, blows us off.  Do you do the same? We long for meaningful relationships with others – be it at the grocery store, our workplace, walking down the street or in our personal lives. To have truly authentic interactions, instead of asking “What’s in it for me?”, ask different questions of yourself:

-       What does the other person need?

-       How am I treating them – my voice tones, my eye contact, my attention?

-       What message am I really conveying to them?

-       How will they (and I) feel after our interaction is over?

My friend Starla J. King has a wonderful book called ‘Wide Awake Every Day’, which I so highly recommend and treasure.  In one of her stories, she talks about being “In Uniform.”  She asks, “ What do our emotions, facial expressions, thoughts and actions suggest about your inner state and your consideration of those around you?"   Those words - ”in consideration of those around you” really caught my attention. Starting with today be ‘in consideration of others’.

                Here is one of my favorite quotes in the world -“I've learned that people will forget what          
                         you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget 
                                               how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou.

You can mechanically move on to something or someone else, or pause to be aware of how you impact others. I encourage you to be your best self. A tiny effort of awareness on your part will leave a lasting and wonderful effect on someone.

So go out today, and each day, and make them (and you) feel good.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you not working in your best space and want to feel more alive and fulfilled in your work? Is it time to renew your spirit?  


If yes, let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can help you find answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 


Come join me for a free personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html