Have you ever had someone ask you a question that made you stop in your tracks and think – “wow! I never thought of that! “  A dear friend posed one of those questions to me: “What do you do on the days when you can’t find the joy?”    All of us have had those kind of times when you have just had it, when you want to run away, when you say  “Why me, God, and No More!”  Many of us have more than our fair share of hard times, of loss, of unexpected challenges and disappointments.  It can become totally overwhelming, shutting us down and even paralyzing us from being productive or happy.  You know - the kind of events that make some of us just want to stay under the covers and hide.  At other times, it becomes self-destructive or fills us with anger and terror. Not a pretty state to be in. And when we go there, it is so hard to dig back out again. 

I really had to think about her question long and hard.  All of the really basic, and sometimes trite, responses come out: “One day at a time.  Live in the moment. This too shall pass.”  While all true and important, they somehow feel too removed, or over-said, to do any good when you really need a springboard to that joy you so desperately need.  So what do you do?

“Joy is that pilot-light we have constantly burning deeply within, quick to grow into an intense heat when fueled by meaningful experiences.”  Starla J. King, author of “Wide Awake. Every Day. ”

Here are my best, simple ideas you can use every day - to help you be uplifted and in action and to see the sunshine again. They are little “experiences” that become truly “meaningful” and will bring more joy each day: 

1. Take action – even if it is to move your body.  Lift you head and look up, get off the chair, go for a walk, take a class, listen to music that moves you. Sit outside and write your little heart out.  Start that journal. Meditate. Sing or dance. Do or see something new. 

2. Set a time limit. I find this is a really effective way to get yourself out of your funk and find some joy. Set your alarm for 30 minutes, or 10 minutes or better yet, for 5 minutes. Let go of the drama.  And when the buzzer goes off, get up and physically move yourself. Physical movement creates different chemicals and feelings in your body. Be AWARE of your feelings and how you are moving from not so good to ok to maybe even great. It is pretty amazing once you focus in on it and feel the changes taking place inside of you.

2. Find support. You CANNOT do this alone.  By yourself you get stuck in the space between your ears – just you and your negative thoughts and feelings that tend to feed upon each other. 

Reach out for a support team – a trusted friend, a life coach, a counselor, someone from the clergy – whomever you feel comfortable with, someone you trust who help you to laugh a little and move on. 

3. Do one or ten things that make you smile.

4. Do one or ten things that make someone else smile.

4. Reach out and find someone who needs help and then help them.

5. Treat yourself to a little joy - a piece of chocolate, looking at photos that make you smile, calling an friend, watching a favorite movie, listening to wind chimes or a sea shell, smelling flowers. Use all of your senses. 

6. Repeat items 1 – 5 as needed. Be committed and dedicated to being in joy very day. 

By taking these simple actions, you start to get rid of your feelings and behaviors that no longer serve you and you then will build a new habit which nourishes you and others.

We all have, and will have, incredible challenges and not-so-fun times. There is always beauty in a storm. It is up to us to lift up our eyes to find it. And yes, it is not so hard when you know what to do. Joy is closer than you think – it really is inside of you. 


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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you not working in your best space and want to feel more alive and fulfilled in your work? Is it time to renew your spirit?  If not now, what are you waiting for?


Now is the best time and let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can support you in finding answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 


Come join me for a complimentary personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

“Wide Awake. Every Day”  Starla J. King. 2013  Little Big Bay Company LLC. Available on Amazon.

Most days we must be somewhere, be doing something, or try to be someone we may not want to be.  How many times do we just find a rock, perch ourselves and allow our lives to take a time-out with nowhere to go and nothing to do?  

On my morning walk this plump seagull was just standing around watching the water ebb and flow. I thought how enriched our lives will be if we would just take even 10 or 15 minutes a day to drink in the world around us.  It doesn’t need to be at the beach.  To look up at the sky, or find a quiet spot like a church or museum.  To sit on a bench in the park. To listen to the sound of laughter and children playing.  You can feel what will bring you peace if you just surrender to life around you.

So how will you make this happen?  Make a small promise to yourself and say “I MUST”, or better yet, put it right in the present with “I AM.”  For example, “I am getting up from my desk and looking at the sky.  I am taking a quick walk to breathe in the air outside and clear my head.”  You know what to do.  Make a little list of two or three things if you need. The important part is to do it.

Find your own rock where you can perch and just ‘be.’  I promise you will smile more today as you find little joys all around you. Your thoughts will be clearer, you will be inspired or even inspire and bring joy to others.  Now that is a good day.

            “If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito.” Anita Roddick  (Founder of The Body Shop)

You know how it is - sometimes you just connect with another human being. You feel their energy – it inspires you, makes you smile and be joyful, and gives you such a positive jolt.  The opposite is also true – how a rude or indifferent remark can sting you.  These impacts can happen in a millisecond.

Which leads me to a question – what message, what energy are you putting out there to others? Do you realize that you affect others in unknown and unconscious ways?  Just a tiny interaction - a smile, or a frown, a word of encouragement or scorn, has untold affects on others.  Many times you never even realize what impact you have as you deposit your energy (positive or negative) on others.  Your smallest behavior can be like that unseen mosquito which leaves a mark long after it leaves.

We are all so caught up in our own feelings and issues. I sense that we are moving towards such an inner focus that we miss so much around us.  Our culture emphasizes ‘me’, and has a continuous stream of contests and competitions as to who is best and who is worthless. It becomes a lot about how does this affect me; how can I win at this; how can I outshine everyone else, without taking in to account how our actions and words affect those around us, people who could truly be helped by even the simplest thing that we say or do.

I am sure you have heard the quote “At the end of the day, I would rather be kind than right.” At our deepest level, it is kindness, and honesty and helping others that really makes a difference in all of our lives. So if you want to impact others in a positive way, It starts with awareness – get out of the space inside your head, stop playing your old records all the time, feel what energy you have and are giving off. 

We complain about how no one listens to us, ignores us, blows us off.  Do you do the same? We long for meaningful relationships with others – be it at the grocery store, our workplace, walking down the street or in our personal lives. To have truly authentic interactions, instead of asking “What’s in it for me?”, ask different questions of yourself:

-       What does the other person need?

-       How am I treating them – my voice tones, my eye contact, my attention?

-       What message am I really conveying to them?

-       How will they (and I) feel after our interaction is over?

My friend Starla J. King has a wonderful book called ‘Wide Awake Every Day’, which I so highly recommend and treasure.  In one of her stories, she talks about being “In Uniform.”  She asks, “ What do our emotions, facial expressions, thoughts and actions suggest about your inner state and your consideration of those around you?"   Those words - ”in consideration of those around you” really caught my attention. Starting with today be ‘in consideration of others’.

                Here is one of my favorite quotes in the world -“I've learned that people will forget what          
                         you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget 
                                               how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou.

You can mechanically move on to something or someone else, or pause to be aware of how you impact others. I encourage you to be your best self. A tiny effort of awareness on your part will leave a lasting and wonderful effect on someone.

So go out today, and each day, and make them (and you) feel good.
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Do you feel that you are bored or exhausted at the end of the day and need something different ? Are you not working in your best space and want to feel more alive and fulfilled in your work? Is it time to renew your spirit?  


If yes, let me help you on your journey to figure out what inspires you, what your unique skills and talents are, what is next.  I can help you find answers and inspiration in our programs, career and personal coaching, and workshops developed just for you. 


Come join me for a free personal 'retreat' where we can explore options and ideas to help you on this journey.  Please go to: http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html