We all have a lot of questions every day.  They can be words like "Why me?"  "How can they do that to me?"  “Why is my boss/partner/girlfriend such a jerk?”  I like to call questions like these the Drama Questions – ones that really have no useful or nourishing answers, but only point fingers and play into being a victim.  If you step back and listen to your questions, I bet you will even laugh a little when you get out of your bad feelings and hear how silly they are.  Remember when you were little and kept asking the question ‘Why?’  Eventually your parents would just get exasperated and say “BECAUSE I SAID SO!”  See – there really are no satisfying answers to the question WHY.

Today, if this is your usual pattern, try something different. Ask the BEST questions you can - of yourself and others.  The better the questions, the better the answers and options you have. 

Consider asking questions like these:

  "How can I do this better? 

  How can I react differently?

  What can I do to stop allowing others to have control over me and push my   
  buttons?

  What kind of support do I need?

  If I had no rules, what else could I do?

  What is the best advice I can give myself?

  What is the one thing I can change that will make a big difference?

  How can I give myself permission to do something new or different?

  What one step can I take to get out of my comfort zone?    
 
  What is holding me back and how can I change it?

Make a list right now of the best questions you can think of  - those that will bring you more joy and empowerment. Then take notice of your questions today. When you hear yourself asking the drama questions, stop and replace them with the types of questions which give you the best results and amazing options you may never have thought of.  Your choice.  All it takes is a little shift in your thinking. You will be pleasantly surprised at the answers. 

Do you want to make real change and renew your spirit? Find more inspiration in our programs, developed just for you, on http://www.icwop.com/introduction.html

With the promise of warmer weather, I decided to get myself moving – to get out of my office and out of my house.  Even though the chill and wind lingers on, I had to get back into my walking routine. The winter pounds are lingering on me as well.

I came across this tree that I had never seen before – it was old and twisted but the trunk was beautifully smooth and it still was alive and reaching for the sun. 

I thought that it surely took the long way around but it was exactly where it needed to be – and it is still thriving.  As strange as it looked, I also saw how  fascinating it was and wondered how it got all of its’ twists and turns. No one storm or hurricane could have done that.  It just followed its’ own path. 

And so it is the same with us. The road in our lives is never a straight line. Who of us can say that the path to where we are is exactly as we planned - with no detours or curves?  For almost all of us, the decisions we make lead us to unintended places, and things may happen to us that are far from what we had imagined.  There is something guiding us, wanting us to be where we are now.

When we push against the winds of daily living, we spend so much energy in fighting what needs to be.  We get worn out, stressed out and so unhappy. But when we allow our life to flow naturally, the result is a certain freedom and an openness to life.   So stop and get out of the drama and become aware of what is important.  In this stepping back, we allow life to come to us. We will get to our destination – even though it may not be the straight-forward journey we envisioned.  

Allow the world to come in and let your life unfold the way it is supposed to. You will not only survive, but you will somehow flourish.   

Be trusting of yourself and of the world, and you will find joy on your crooked path, and know that everything is as it should be in this moment. You will thrive throughout the storms of life on your ever-changing way, just like this tree. 


For support and more ideas on how to create the story and future that you truly want, please go to http://www.icwop.com/program-options.html

New: Personal, customized coaching services are also available for individuals. Specializing in executive women looking for a life transition. Connect with me directly for a complimentary, one-on-one Discovery Call. 732 245-4931

“There are moments in life, and they happen so infrequently that they tend to really stand out, when life hands you the gift of perspective. Sometimes, we forget to show our appreciation. Sometimes, we get our priorities mixed up. And, sometimes, we forget how far we’ve come. But life always has a way of nudging you to remind you about these important things.”
― Cassia Leo, Bring Me Home

Perspective and priorities – how quickly we can lose track. The other evening I had dinner with my friend and we talked about getting older and how things happen in our lives that we did not plan for, let alone being so very different from the dreams we had.  And how sometimes little things take on a life of their own in the midst of our problems.

My friend, who survived a serious illness, talked about how, after her treatments,  she had put on weight and was discussing with her doctor about how much she didn’t like those extra pounds.  Her doctor looked into her eye and said “So after all you have been through, just get a bigger size.” My friend laughed and thought – “Yes- of course.”  Those few words totally put things into perspective for her.

So I love that story.  Sometimes we are faced with small or large issues and life challenges but we can only focus on that issue as if it were the only thing.  It seems so big and it takes on a life of its’ own, but, in reality, it is not all there is.  Like the other day, I was paying my ticket at a parking garage and the cashier said to me “Senior discount ?”  She repeated it three times, and I am staring at her with a blank look thinking “Huh me?” I looked around and thought she was talking to someone else.  Then I realized she meant me – Oh no!!  I was appalled. I guess I still have my vanities that I hold on to (and realized I needed a touch-up).  My life has been so focused on a family medical crisis that I have been unable to even take care of the basics.  But in the end, it made me laugh because I knew that my hair color was not as much of a priority as it always has been and that I still could laugh.   

Both of these little stories are great examples of how life was “nudging” me to remember the important things.  

So how do you put things in perspective, given all of our challenges, frustrations, daily tasks, and innumerable priorities that we think we must deal with each day?

• First – Make of list of what really matters in your life - each day!! Tuck it into your wallet or paste in on a sticky note on your computer.  Keep it right in front of you, look at it each time you open your wallet.  Ask yourself if what you are doing is really, really important and make decisions accordingly.
  
• Second -  Look for options. Ask yourself – “What will happen if I postpone this task or lower it on my priority list? Is everything really a ‘must’ ”? Ask different questions - “Am I really required to do this? Can I just do some, or not at all? How can I do something different that will bring me more joy and get me closer to me goals?”  These little questions are very powerful and it will help you to focus on what it is really important.
  
• Third -  Laugh at yourself and your circumstances. Stop taking yourself SO seriously! Go get a bigger size. Find the joy, find the smiles in little things which will go a long way in helping you see what is truly important in your life.  

Enjoy this moment and this day.